Life · Writing

Writing Reveals Insight and Fears

Steam dancing across my mug. Currently, Wednesday evening. January, though warm enough to let the windows be opened. Sky painted in faded gray-blues and light pinks. 5:30pm, and I am preparing to write my novel.

But before I do, I wanted to touch base with you all.

These past three weeks I have been consistent with my writing schedule each day. Which entails…

  1. Write a least one single-spaced page for the novel, unless chapter was completed previous night break is allowed. (Or it’s a Sunday)
  2. Write at least one writing prompt.
  3. Check blogs and consider new blog ideas.


That’s the basis for my routine and it is going well. The third goal is harder because my main focus is going to my novel. But it is important I work in a variety of creative opportunities. My overall goal is to reach out to people and connect with people. For now, I do not have many if only a few readers in regards to my blogs and my beta readers.

Sometimes I feel disappointed.

But that should be enough for me. Because most beginnings are difficult. Most beginnings are not prepared or well thought out. During the process we make progress. We learn through past experiences and failures. Through time and effort, more people can become involved.

(It’s all how we look at life.)


You Lift My Spirit

We either become positive through humility or negative from a narcissistic view. It’s either being selfish or selfless. I would love to reach many readers but that’s from my point of view. Right now, I want to be happy with the few because that’s how we get from point A to point B.

For those reading right now, thank you. You are important and you are more than a number to me. You will always deserve to be more than a number.



Preparing Means To Start With The Small

For the domino effect to work, one has to start with at least one domino. Often I try to remind myself to remember each moment when I struggle and the reasons why. I hope and aim to be an author. To reach many and provide an alternative to Christian Fiction.

But if I got to that goal, where would I be? What would be my mindset?

Now is the time to prepare my mind because it would be futile to only focus on what the world deems as an accomplishment. My King doesn’t teach that life is about success. It is about the journey. And who would I be if I forgot one of the first lessons God ever taught me.

Which was, “Never forget where you came from.”


My Goal Right Now

When I first started having an idea to write a story based off of my childhood imaginative world, I was 13. In total, I would say there’s at least three to four different story versions of this idea. The ideas grew as I grew and looking back I was simply too young to write the story I am writing now. Not because of age, but simply experience and mind development (okay, so age may be a slight factor).

The novel will be my third in my character test run series and last. So when it is completed, I have to go through all three novels and complete the foundation I’ve been working on for four years for my series.

The closer I get to completing the third novel, the more terrified I feel. There will be a lot of new experiences to prepare for in writing my first book. I feel having at least four years experience of writing for the series, knowing the direction I want each book to go to and simply preparing it, will help me as a writer.

And yet despair constantly looks over the door.

Doubt has truly been a foe for years, but attaching itself to my potential career and work ethic is draining.


Standing Out Is A Good Thing

Nonetheless, it is not going to defeat me.

When I have no readers available or even when I am blessed with readers and still feel doubt, there is one truth I cling to.

I am already writing for a King.

I am writing for Someone who blessed me 23 years ago with an idea. A very, very simple idea.

Even then, as a child, kids and adults teased me about it. My imagination only increased as I got older, and as my peers got older they grew out of their imagination. So quickly in fact, even when I was only 10, they asked, “So you’re still into that?”

But the hidden compliment I see now in this mockery…

It stood out enough to not only make them a question, but it was an idea they could not forget and not ignore.


And this…this is exactly what I need as a writer.

To stand out.

To not be an idea or someone to be ignored.

Despite the stigma of being “weird” or “odd” people crave it because our personality cannot be replicated. Our personality and our ideas are all unique and different.

Most basic ideas and stories have been told, yes this much is true.

But they haven’t been told in our perspective.

I have yet to tell my story.

But one day I will.

Screen Shot 2017-08-22 at 9.45.40 PM

(Check out my main blog, Inside Cup, here)

2 thoughts on “Writing Reveals Insight and Fears

  1. With your determination, skills, hopes, dreams and your faith in God, I believe you will become a famous writer someday. God has given you this talent and I believe in you.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s