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Misunderstood (Mental Illness/Depression)

There are many people in this world who cannot speak up about what they are going through because things are misunderstood. Each individual has his or her own story. May we try to understand. May we listen to what people are trying to say.

This poem’s purpose is to show the mindset of someone who is battling internally. Rawness, sensitivity, how words are taken. This poem is not written from my current mindset. I once had a friend admit to me in middle school she thought of suicide when she was only about 10-11 years old. Depression and mental illness do not have age limits. It does not matter what your situation may be either. If it was this simple, celebrities would not die from suicide. Children who live in good homes would not die from suicide. Sometimes there are factors that invite depression and mental illness…but sometimes…there aren’t. 

But whatever the cause or reason almost always there is someone who cannot understand. Feelings, thoughts, and expression are misunderstood. So people lock themselves away. They hide. They run. They fake happiness. So they are not a burden. “I didn’t know they weren’t happy.” How many times has this been said of a parent or a friend of a loved one who was suffering and committed suicide? 

“I don’t understand.” 

I want to help people understand ❤

TRIGGER WARNING! – Some lines deal with suicidal thoughts. Nothing is graphic or intense. But it is discussed. 


Words are turned against me

and ears have become deaf.

I’m tired of trying.

And I’m tired of playing ref.

Ripped in the middle

and nowhere to turn

everything is shattered

nothing else is learned.

No one listens to what I say

My broken heart is only played

Only matters how I obey

I’m in the rain ready to decay.

Only in their eyes.

No one sees or hears my cries.

People listen to their own words.

Never matters if I’m not heard.

I’m in silence.

I am silence.

Silence…

It’s no big deal.

It doesn’t matter.

I’m not important.

I don’t matter. 

…I don’t matter.

I

don’t 

matter.

I  d o  n o t  m a t t e r.   

Stop, just stop.

My mind breaks down.

Stop, just stop.

They only frown.

I’m the only fighter

within this war.

No one joins my army

fallen on my sword.

The pain rages in my soul.

Shaking, fidgeting, can’t stay still.

Every second isn’t whole.

Still alone, I swallow this pill.

Shadows creep before me now.

My eyes are blurred no one’s around.

“Maybe if they listened, maybe if they were here.

I’ll never know, I’m now the atmosphere.”

The lingering thoughts tempt me.

Get it over with. Just lose your crown.

Arms wrapped around my knees.

Huddled in my corner of shame and misery.

Another day goes by

and I fake smile.

Hit repeat.

Silence.

Stop being a burden.

STOP BEING A BURDEN.

I don’t matter…


If you were here, I could have told you. 

If you were here, I could have wrote you. 

I didn’t understand until it was too late. 

Because deep inside I think we could relate. 

(Please listen to those around you.) 


 

If you are on Pinterest and you would like to share this pin, you can here. 

26 thoughts on “Misunderstood (Mental Illness/Depression)

    1. Thank you so much!!! You were one of the people I was thinking of, as you have discussed this on your blog. I was hoping I could convey what others go through. I’ve known six people who have gone through suicidal thoughts, I helped a friend stay up after an attempt and I could only talk online when it happened . People need awareness.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Reblogged this on Inside Cup and commented:

    A number of you have already seen this poem because you saw it on Peeking Beneath, thank you so much! I want to share this poem on here for those who may not check out my second blog. I wrote this poem to try to help people understand what it is like internally for someone who experiences depression or mental illness.

    Sometimes it is hard to visualize what that means. Sometimes we think if a person is a good situation, if everything around them appears to be good, and they seem “happy” then depression and other things like anxiety do not really make sense.

    I’ve heard before from people sharing their battles with depression, anxiety and mental illness, that society seems to think it is okay to take of the body (physically) when we are hurt. However, the most active part of our body, the brain that controls basically everything, is treated differently. A battle we cannot see on the inside is hard to understand. People feel pain. People have accusing thoughts. Believing they are a burden. Christians, I think, struggle with this too because mental illness “shouldn’t” be a thing with the stigma I just shared.

    I’ve known at least six people who have been suicidal. In college, I stayed up one night online with a friend who had attempted. Just because we do not understand. Just because to us maybe we think this person “shouldn’t” be experiencing what they are or it’s just “making a big deal out of nothing”.. to that person it is a big deal. Inside, there is a battle going on. For us to be like Jesus, we need to be loving and understanding.

    I hope the poem helps you understand, a little bit, of what the mindset is for someone going through this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. Just….wow. So beautifully put. I have struggled with this and I loved this: “Words are turned against me and ears have become deaf.I’m tired of trying. And I’m tired of playing ref.” It’s a struggle to get people to understand mental illness. If you can’t see it, it must not exist, is how some people see it.
    Thank you so much for sharing this!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. God bless you for spreading awareness about mental health. I have pinned this post.

    Suffering from anxiety and/or depression is very real and the silent suffering people tend to do is unacceptable. Sometimes people don’t need words – they just need to know they matter, they’re heard, they’re cared about and there is a God who knows them intimately and loves them more than they can imagine.

    Wading through the darkness is very difficult but it is possible.

    Liked by 2 people

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