T. R. are those cupcakes?
Well, yes! Yes, they are!
There are milestones people celebrate as bloggers and this milestone certainly is not going to be found on most bucket lists. It’s not so much about celebrating, rather, being grateful for where I am now in mind, body, and spirit with Christ.
Now, I’ve had some disagreeable comments in the past. I’ve had some slight passive aggression before, too. But I haven’t had my first comment that chews you out, slanders you, curses, etc. The whole fireworks display.
I waited a little bit to write about this. Some of you may share the same thought as my husband, “I’m surprised it took you THIS long.” Haha!
I can only say that is because of the grace of God. See, for those who do not really know, I am primarily a Christian blogger, and this blog is slowly being turned to reflect more of what that is like, as well as some other things regarding Christ and Christian writing.
Let’s see, last year alone on Inside Cup, I talked about marriage, modesty, baptism, oh, and one I thought for sure would be a big target, women oppression. Now, again, I had some people disagree. I had some slight passiveness. But overall, you know, I was extremely grateful for the discussion. A discussion does not always have to be kind or gentle, people can share some pretty blunt opinions but I appreciate when it connects to the content.
I think praying and devoting time to these posts to God does a lot. He is the Mastermind behind all things and I think He certainly protected me. Looking back, I don’t know if my spirit would have been ready. If I could have handled the comment as well. Or rather… not handle it at all.
Last year, God started to teach me when not to respond, and when to STOP continuing discussion. Boy, it was not easy, and I admit, I had mistakes to learn from. Times I wish, if I could go back, yeah, I would have just dropped the convo. I can’t do that for the past, but I can for now and the future.
In 2017, when I first was receiving a series of troubling comments, basically just someone trying to preach on my blog with material that did not relate at all to my posts’ content, I made a rule. Very simply, if someone’s comment does not relate to the content of the post, I do not have to approve the comment.
When I reached, maybe 200-300 followers on Inside Cup, I made this rule public in addressing why I decided this. Lo and behold, the person leaving those comments chose on their own to stop following me and commenting. I was very grateful for how God used that situation.
The rule came into place with this negative comment. Many things were said and I was accused of writing things my post did not actually say. Which I want to encourage all bloggers right here, if people are making assumptions about you or saying you are implying or saying things you did not, don’t fight it. Do not let it get to you. You know the truth. You don’t have to defend something that is clear as day.
I didn’t publish the comment because first, it did not follow my rule entirely. Though it originally touched on the topic of my post, it was clear, it seems only the title or the first few sentences were read, that was it. Second, even if I published it and people came to my defense, I don’t want the individual attacked, even if unintentional, either.
It seemed this person was dealing with a lot of pain, and my husband was the only one I shared the comment with. He suggested perhaps, I just happened to be the person this individual wanted to rant to or get upset with. So if anything, at least this outburst could provide temporary release.
I didn’t take anything to heart because there was nothing to take to heart. Accusations were false. Assumptions were false. I’m not going to enable more fuel, but at least this person felt safe enough to unleash their feelings and thoughts.
Definitely not a reaction I expected to have, and again, that’s because of Jesus. There is no way I would have been able to react this calmly without Him. My flesh struggles with validation. People make assumptions about me, I tend to desire to prove them wrong. Haha, it’s true. However, that wasn’t the case. I felt a lot of concern and compassion for this person.
One other thing I want to share with you is this happened to be one of the comments you can tell someone is pushing for a fight. A response wouldn’t be beneficial. I know a lot of Christians sometimes fall into the trap of trying to explain God and Christ with angry people.
I want to tell you right now, I’m not Jesus and you are not, either. Jesus KNEW and was PREPARED for the religious leaders who tried to trip Him up. Comments like these often evoke our flesh and emotion. What looks like an opportunity to talk about Jesus becomes a snare for us to be consumed in our flesh just as much as the original commenter.
Do not fall for these traps, but pray for the commenter. God can do so much more than we ever can. He may provide an opportunity later, but unless you are truly ready and prepared for these moments, do not step in. Just because we think there is an “opportunity” to “correct” someone does not mean there actually is. We can do more harm than good.
Being Christlike in all ways is knowing when to step aside. It doesn’t matter if people think they “win.” When we start to think we’ve let them won, then we are already struggling with our flesh.