There are a lot of things I’m working through behind the scenes. Maybe…I need to expose that a bit. This post is a mix between things my spirit wants to initially “complain” about and then look at the real truth of the matter. I’ve been rebuked by others for me being open about this because it is not pleasant to hear. Which is why I want to hold myself accountable and share this. I hope maybe through my mistakes something might speak to you.
I admit, for a long while, and sometimes even now, I’ll write a post that is meant to be honest, but encouraging. I’ll share things I struggle(d) with sometimes. However, that doesn’t mean what I share is a constant trial. It doesn’t mean that my post is a plea for help.
I know people mean well, most of the time.
For a long time, I really didn’t like when I would be open about something and I would receive comments of, “I’ll pray for you.” This is not that I don’t like people praying for me, in fact, God was amazing at showing me how crucial and needed I need others to pray for me. He often, every time, will use these situations to remind me to be grateful.
It’s…it’s like I’m talking with someone with a smile on my face about something unpleasant but I’m glad about where God has been leading me. And the person on the opposite side is shaking their head at me, with sad, solemn, eyes. “I’ll pray for you,” they cup my hand.
My jaw drops.
“But I…didn’t…it’s suppose to be a good thi..”
Edit Version T. R. Mode- I wanted to real about this, which is why I wrote out how it looks to me inwardly with these responses, and I see so clearly, I’m making more issues out of this than it should be. It’s a little cringey to admit the truth.
I’ve shared on my main blog, I don’t like the band-aid answers.
I get though…that’s hard for others to have something else to say sometimes. We don’t always have the words. I can’t be hypocritical enough to act like I, too, don’t have that problem sometimes.
Because I do…
Even though I’ve been pushed in my spirit to work on how I respond to others in a deeper way, that doesn’t mean it is going to be natural for everyone else. Admittedly, this is something God is helping me work on. I need to be grateful and appreciate every single person who takes the time to comment, “I’ll pray for you.” To be grateful people care about me enough to reach out when they think I’m hurting because not a lot of people really do that in this day and age.
I struggle with validation through others, to be heard, the way I want to be heard, I hate to say. Maybe that’s why I overexplain. No matter what happens people will still misunderstand. People will still “not get it”.
I don’t like the assumption that whatever I write immediately means this is what I am going through. I really don’t like that assumption.
God recently has really been reminding me that I should “assume” and be aware that people may only get what they read from a post. I’ve written over 600 posts on my main blog, and over 300 on this one. It would not be fair at all to assume my readers read every single one. That’s a lot!
I’m working on really looking at what surrendering to Christ and dying to the flesh means. In doing so, I have to be willing to face and admit my own weaknesses, and especially the not so pretty ones. This is one of them I face as a blogger.
I have to admit the truth for what it is. I may not like people’s assumptions, or in reality, what I feel…people are assuming about me, right? But shouldn’t I care enough that people take the time to respond to me, at all?
That people care enough whether they are wrong or right to say something.
Including the strongly worded comments, too. But that’s probably for another post.
Please forgive me for my impatience, assumptions, and insecurity with you, I’m working on it.
(NIV) Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Do you ever struggle with how people respond to your posts?
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Main Blog: Inside Cup