This is beyond a pet peeve.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THIS!
As if your experience was this kind of “broken” project, and they fixed it for you.
I understand people mean well. I understand people want to feel involved, especially when it deals with someone they care for or someone they want to help. But I need to make this clear for those of you who add to your resume, “The people I’ve changed.”
We can influence people.
We can support others.
But we ourselves do not change people.
Whether they are affected by our influence is, indeed, their own choice. If through encouragement they change, it is by their choice.
Understand the importance of this. We struggle all of our lives trying to figure out who WE are as an individual. So when people in our lives, smiles on their faces, say, “I’ve changed you.” Our identity isn’t ourselves but rather pieces of other people.
But the truth is this. If you have become more independent, NO ONE else did that for you! People can be encouraging and supportive, as stated before, but YOU are the one who makes the CHOICE. You are the one who changes for the good or the bad. No one else does that.
Peer pressure is often masked behind the excuse, “So and So made me do this.” No. If you choose to do an action, it’s your choice. And it’s the same for overcoming hardship. When people take advantage of you, and you overcame bitterness and anger. No one can force you to willingly forgive and heal.
It’s a choice.
It’s the power and freedom of free will, even if people and circumstances around us don’t like it.
We are influencers, but we should influence people to choose well. Be humble enough to know everyone makes a choice for themselves. It isn’t always about us. We don’t live in their shoes.
And when people work through something hard in their life, be proud of what they did for themselves. Don’t take that away from them. We are our own identity, we are not the identity of another.
(Check out my main blog, Inside Cup, here)